Full Name: Unknown

Date of Birth: Unknown

Voice Actor: None (he is incapable of speech)

Loves: Really small things, pūkekos, puzzles with pictures of cottages.

Hates: Birds of prey, gharials, water.

Before TearItUp Remix:
The first son of the OG Mortician, The Free Mortician was an unsuccessful attempt at spawning a human through hand-made DNA, he is more akin to a skin balloon than a man; being full of air, weighing only 32lbs and having no vocal chords or any discernible human organs. Despite this, he is extremely strong and imposing, yet surprisingly slow moving.

The Free Mortician is the final part of the team's operations, instructed by his father. He has a fascination with flames and uses a flamethrower to cremate the corpses left behind by The Killer Mortician, before inhaling all the ashes and possessing his own version of a "smile".